I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
