Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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