I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
