party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
