lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
