My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
