i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
