You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
