OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
