bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Did I show you my penis last night?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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