btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
