you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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