hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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