Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize