You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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