if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
