where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
