I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I love you. Go after that dick
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
