I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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