1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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