Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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