no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
