so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
