she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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