I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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