i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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