well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I FOUND THE LEGS
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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