So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize