Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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