im six kinds of drunk right now
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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