is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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