I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
