Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
