Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She told me I should be a condom model.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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