brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
