when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
