And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
