So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
