even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
