Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
