I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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