Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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