So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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