You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
