im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
