A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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