i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
