My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
