turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
