Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Alive.
So much puke
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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