My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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