how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We need to rekindle our bromance
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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