I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
