I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just google imaged poop.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
