Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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