i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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