guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
