and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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