You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
