I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
